So I saw a Panera Bread's new "we use nothing but CLEAN ingredients" wad of advertising the other day. Practically anyone who is NOT a mouthbreathing, pseudo-scientific, half-wit moron thinks that this bullshit scam is — well, a bullshit scam (see https://www.forbes.com/sites/kavinsenapathy/2016/09/13/should-customers-fall-for-paneras-new-gimmick-food-scientists-weigh-in/#2366fe3e5ddb for example).
However, most of you hippies will be surprised to know that I, for one, agree that it was about friggin' time they cleaned up their nasty food. Good job for publicly admitting how foul it was, is my vote. A model of sober, responsible Corporate Citizenship, and truly not a bunch of scare-mongering-for-profit twats at all. Mmmmmmm! Clean food! Can't wait.
Well, unless they've got Luis cleaning it, I mean. That little fucker can't even get the dried-up pasta off their silverware.
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| Luis, On The Job |
In Our Next Episode: I understand they're going to be roofing all their restaurants in tin-foil and banning Bigfoot Trophy Hunters next. These guys are just so friggin' hip it's a wonder they can see over their pelvises.
Clean like fresh farm veggies full of e.Coli? Or nice raw dairy stuff swarming with listerias? Personally I am in favor of high technology and shiny lab equipment that saves my life over and over again. Mmm fake food in sealed packages that doesn't have bugs crawling on it, my favorite!
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