Holiday Flash

Ho, Ho, Ho, and like that. Had a bunch o' folk asking what I wanted for Christmas. I gotta tell you that watching Kerry's spectacular outhouse dive live on election day (and concurrently getting to see Dan Rather actually shrink into a whimpering wirewhipped little newsbitch before my very eyes) has pretty much Feliced my Navidad.



That would have been enough, but since God loves me, I also got the bonus add-on of the freakshow in Ohio, where whiny leftist douchebags are straining to shit out an extra 150,000 Kerry votes. This is the surprise comedy package in the stocking which bids fair to be the gift that keeps on giving for the rest of the year.



Thanks for asking, though.



So anyhow, the problem with the flash currently on my colors is that it's so out of date. Now, the patch I'm speaking of is the yellow one here -- the Jane Fonda thing, see? No, it's not an error. It's on my rags upside down like that, although mine is considerably dimmed by a few thousand miles of road grit, bike grease, spilled beer and other less savory things. At any rate, if you see something upside down on leathers, colors, or other biker shit, that means that the inverted person/subject/thing is disrespected in a deep, bloodfeud sense of the word.



Jane, to put it another way, is not just a traitorous scumbag who, if there's any justice in the world, will wind up dying of extreme old age chained to a damp wall in a supermax Fed lockdown after being sentenced for high treason, she's also a disrespected cunt I wouldn't walk across the street to piss on if she were on fire.



Now, realistically I know that our nutless leaders aren't going to do the right thing and charge the useless bitch after all this time, but on the upside, she's getting old enough that the odds are better than even that I'll get to take a gigantic shit on her grave soon, which I suppose will have to do. I'm thinking a day of steak, lobster, Singha beer, stuffed jalapenos, and a large wad of Jack Daniels shots should produce the appropriate annointing for her Hallowed Resting Place. Might make it a yearly pilgrimage -- sounds like a good time, even skipping the Jane Dump-O-Rama.



In any event, one of my crew opined that it's been 30+ years since my war, and perhaps jacking with Hanoi Jane is a bit passé. Now, I disagree that fucking with Jane is EVER out of style, but on consideration it occurs to me that one must take steps to stay relevant wherever one can.



Hell, it's a different world. Nowadays the dinks are more aggressively capitalist than the fucking French and their German buttboys, who have settled into a sweaty, masturbatory, socialist Euromaggotry, and we've got regular passenger airline flights going into the 'Nam.



What a concept.



If we could just get the slopes to give up the rest of our POW/MIA remains, we could all just be butt-kissing buddies with them from here on out, especially if they're willing to start killing Allah's followers with the same gusto they used to snuff a bazillion or so of their own in the political re-education camps and in a variety of pillage-and-burn excursions into Cambodia.

Side Note: Lovely country, Cambodia, and lovely people. Phnom Phen was an absolutely spectacular place, very classy, much less frenetic than Bangkok, and had some of the most gorgeous females in Southeast Asia.

'Course the Commies killed everyone and turned the whole fucking country into a pile of rotting corpses which, back then, we didn't know you could actually do. Huh. Live and learn. It was considerably less attractive what with the piles of skulls and the stink of death everywhere and whatnot, but the Khmer Rouge seemed to like it.

It's a near certainty that most (or more likely, all) of the soft beauties I knew back then wound up executed in the killing fields or starving or worked to death in the Commie agrarian utopia of Year Zero. I occasionally marvel that I'm one of the few left who knew it back when....what a strange life.....

Hmmm, where was I….oh, yes, current times. Well, I’ve finally found a patch that expresses my sentiments on the current situation, and which, incidentally, will fit directly below my “Jane” patch:







I think it fits with the season, yeah? I'll make a Christmas ornament out of it next year.



In Our Next Episode: Did I ever get around to bitch-slapping the Fucking Weather Channel?