The Wisdom Of Prince Charles The Hamster

I see where HRH Prince Charles is breaking in his new pony by bringing her to the Colonies, the better to guide us ignorant heathens in our international relations and scold us on environmental crap from the podium of his distinguished career as useless Brit leech. Not incidentally, the trip will ensure that the Brit public begins to see Cammi de la Cheval as something other than a suspect an interested bystander in Princess Diana the Arab Punchboard's homicide tragic car accident.

For our part, of course, we await his wisdom with bated breath. Well, 6% of us do, anyhow.

Latest surveys I've seen indicate that roughly 48% of the American public wouldn't know Charles if he walked up and bit them right on the left butt-cheek, 28% know but don't care which side of the big pond he's on, 13% are vaguely interested, but not in Charles, 3% were unable to understand the question, 6% were strongly interested in his visit, and 2% had in fact actually been bitten on the ass by some unknown jug-eared freakshow with a Masterpiece Theatre accent.

The Brit press, meantime, is absolutely orgasmic with 24/7 coverage of the Royal visit. However, even they don't know why.

In Our Next Episode: I display the butt hickey I got in D.C. the other day while standing too close to the Royal Party. Might have been Camilla -- she was giving me the eye.