Justis For Tennessee State Trooper

Well, her real name is Justis. Justis Richert, to be specific. But her porn star name (since "Justis Richert" isn't nearly weird enough) is "Barbie Cummings," and Barbie is a BIG fan of the Tennessee State Police, and more specifically, Trooper James "Randy" Moss.

Randy stopped Barbie for going too fast in her little pink (big surprise) Honda Accord. Turns out Randy is a porn connoisseur and Barbie is a porn star. What with one thing and another, these two facts came to light resulting in Randy making his first foray into film and photoblog stardom.

One of the reasons this came about was because Barbie didn't want to miss her next porn shoot (so to speak) in California, which would have happened if she'd gotten popped with drugs, so she was REALLY nice to Randy, in which there's likely some lesson concerning how it is that if you're a cop, it's always better to approach the public hard instead of like some ACLU pushover.

At any rate, judging by the early pix I've seen on her website, it's pretty apparent that she blew it. By which I mean Randy actually went ahead and wrote her the traffic ticket anyhow. (No, I ain't linking to her website. YOU look it up, ya lazy bastid. I will say that she seems like a VERY friendly girl.)

On the other hand (among other things...ba-RUMP-bump), he did manage to "lose" her drugs.

Heh, heh....and you thought your goofy little "State Trooper Association" decal was enough to get you out of jail time. Wrong. You ain't even at competition level unless you brought your lip gloss.

(Oh, please. Before you even start...like you wouldn't have.)

And, since I really haven't got anything else tonight, and me talking slutty blonds instead of babelicious redheads is rare enough, a quickie for you slutty-blonde geeks:


And if you're not geeky enough to know what PHP is, no cheerleaders for you.

UPDATE! Turns out Barbie's site also goes down. Hahahahahahaah! Oh, lordy. I crack me up. No, seriously. It's gone -- traffic overload, I hear. I imagine it will be back before long, and since she's a "for profit" bimbo, you'll probably need to bring a credit card.

In Our Next Episode: How to get out of a third DWI in Tennessee. (Hint: You'll need a big ol' glop of Crisco, a straightback chair, a bag of feathers, and some latex straps in a variety of colors. Optional But Strongly Preferred: The ability to squeal like a pig.)