Duck Posting -- All Freaks Gotta Get Into This (UPDATED!)

OK, there's no point in asking since I won't tell you, but elsewhere on the Interwebberthingie I was engaged in an increasingly bitter bit of interaction with the unwashed, and was attempting to construct a cutting, deeply offensive, very personal and relentlessly inaccurate insult in astoundingly poor taste to be made on a tactically selected occasion, which insult, for a variety of reasons, had to include a reference to a particularly disgusting and rather obscure sexual practice called a "Cleveland Steamer", the better to discover the limits of my esteemed opponent's Combat Prose form and, incidentally, to determine whether she might actually want to....well, it doesn't matter.

Don't click it if you don't want to know, as it is yet another hair-raising example of how the net perhaps over-informs people who otherwise would have never heard of such a thing, except for Dawn who should click it because she will be disgusted and say "ewww" but will nonetheless be pleased at the Tenacious D and Jack Black references.

At any rate, I had been sucking down a bit of Jack and a wad of Ambien, and oddly enough, I could NOT remember the term "Cleveland Steamer," which was pissing me off considerably. So I decided to try and get the Interwhatzit Wikipedia to find it for me. I accomplished this by Wiki-ing the words "sex" and "steamer" which resulted in a number of leads, the first two of which were

• #1 "Coprophilia" (close but no cigar) and


• #2 "Bronze-winged Duck" (WTF?)

Now, think I'm a pretty well-traveled sort, and have heard of virtually every sexual or sorta-sexual variant that's been invented to date, and I have to say that I've NEVER heard of a "Bronze-winged Duck". So, I had to go look....and discovered:


It's a freakin' DUCK. How it links to the combination of "sex" and "steamer" is a complete mystery.

(UPDATE: Turns out it's a branch of a family of ducks known as "Steamer Ducks". Really. Which would make a whole 'nother post, but we'll just give it a miss. Who sez this site's not educational?).

However, before I discovered the innocuous nature of the thing, I considered what on earth could be done with some combination of more-or-less consenting adults which might be known as a "Bronze-winged Duck". Turns out I have failure of imagination.

In Our Next Episode: OK, class, time for the big leagues: Be the first to come up with something that will be known from now till the end of time as a "Bronze-winged Duck". Pix are preferable to establish priority and claim, but we'll go with just a description if you must. (I'm thinking perhaps something "uplifting".) We're gonna make it more famous than the popular "Pearl Necklace" or "Rusty Trombone" and make a run at "Dirty Sanchez". C'mon guys, take a chance at immortality.