While that’s a persuasive argument, it’s hardly court-solid proof. More in the way of empirical evidence is needed to establish such a broad statement as fact. Is it possible that Maryland doesn't consist of 100% Commies?
For example, I know a guy from Baltimore who moved to Texas years ago, and while he’s certainly a Commie, it is mitigated by virtue of the facts that:
(a) He left Maryland as soon as he could figure out how to do it;
(b) He came to Texas, and likes it;
(c) He spends an appreciable amount of time trying to get the rest of his family to move out of “that shithole” (as he affectionately calls it); and,
(d) While he glibly spouts Party propaganda, it seems to be mostly pro-forma, as with a few drinks in him he sounds like a born and bred redneck libertarian fresh in off the range.
So it seems there might be some “slop” in my thesis here.
This, however, was finally laid to rest by personal observation, and for all time, too, during my vacation a couple of months ago. I was on the east coast, you see, and more particularly in the Penn/Del area. This means that I was practically tits-deep in Marylandoids, who routinely do the "wave of rats escaping the near-100% tax rate of their sinking and politically-hagridden home state" by coming upcountry to try and buy something.
Anything.
Consider for a moment that these clowns are heading toward Delaware and Pennsylvania BECAUSE THE TAX RATES ARE SO MUCH BETTER. Did you hear that? What else to I need to say? They're like North Koreans trying and dying to get across the border to live off the toss-out refuse of the Chinese industrial anus of Mongolia -- apparently, "paradise" is a matter of degrees amongst commies world-wide who are accustomed to slavery to the state.
Anyhow, as a result, the WalMart parking lot where I found myself was utterly infested with them. They had traffic so fucked up it was impossible to get anywhere in that lot or, for that matter, anywhere within about 3 miles of the it.
The Jenga-pile of traffic was hung motionless, locked in place by a small number of key pieces which were vehicles being driven Maryland-style, which is to say, sitting at a dead fucking stop and surveying the entire parking lot while consulting magic beads and GPS to find the perfect parking spot. They would then move up behind the car that's already IN the perfect spot and sit there, blocking traffic in both directions, waiting for the slot-occupier to leave.
The slot occupier, meantime, is usually another Marylandoid, generally either 114 years old or surrounded by a dense cloud of small children or both. They've bought at least one of everything in the store, and have at least two or three baskets full of consumables which they're trying to get packed into the trunk of their mini-wonder Subaru, one miniscule item at a time. They take frequent breaks to catch their breath and/or the kids wandering around in traffic, and/or goggle like surprised fish at the people waiting behind them. It usually takes upwards of an hour for them to actually get their fat asses OUT of the slot, during which entire time the Maryland driver is sitting behind them clotting up traffic.
The Maryland driver will by now have turned on a turn signal, indicating they're waiting on the spot, which is about as useful as tits on a boar hog, but which is as close to "politeness" as they can manage. In Maryland-speak, having a turn-signal or emergency flashers blinking means "I'm doing/about to do something incredibly stupid and/or selfish, but now I'm excused. It's the law, look it up, ya bassard."
Flashing lights may also indicate that they are about to back into you and then blame you for the accident because you didn't move. Of course, you couldn't move because you had another flashy-light Marylandoid defective BEHIND you. Also, you probably wouldn't have moved anyway, because not being from Maryland, it didn't occur to you that anyone would do anything so brain-damaged.
Eventually, one of them will actually manage to wedge into a parking spot, and traffic backed up clear to the Township border will suddenly break loose and move and reconfigure into another impossible pick-up-sticks configuration, at least until the next Maryland plate-holder shuts the whole shitteree down again, usually about 8 seconds later.
Maryland drivers' vehicle skills, in short, are unapologetically bad.
Now, EVERYONE knows that there is a strong correlation between the percentage of Commies in an area and the degree of driver suckage. Russians (and eastern block people in general) are horrible drivers. And do I even need to discuss Chinese drivers? I didn’t think so. Chinese drivers are incompetent to the point that they’re the bane of State DMVs nation-wide, as their attempts to get licensed have resulted in them being solely responsible for every single traffic fatality of DMV personnel ever recorded in history. Asian drivers in general from the mainland usually have a lifespan measured in days or hours, which is statistically indistinguishable from that found in Maryland.
Ergo, Marylandoid = Commie, ipso facto, tu spurius.
Also, did I mention? Yeah, Bawlmer.
GOT A WIFE AND KIDS IN BALTIMORE JACK;
ReplyDeleteI WENT OUT FOR A RIDE AND I NEVER WENT BACK.
Truth for the ages.