Shemagh

A (sort of) quick story:  In one of my previous lives, in which I was in the military, I discovered the shemagh, or as the Arabs generally call it, the kayiffa. It took us about 30 seconds to figure out that when you're on an 8-inch self-propelled artillery piece in a convoy on a dusty road, wrapping this thing around one's face and neck is nothing short of miraculous for suddenly being able to breathe and cutting the amount of crap falling under your shirt. 

It seems that desert-based people have a clue how to deal with desert/dirt/sand-based issues.  

A shemagh is basically a very large bandanna, about 1-meter square, 100% woven cotton, dyed in a variety of colors and finished with lots of tassels tying off the ends of the weave.The military specifically ordered us to stop wearing them because it wasn't an official part of the issued stuff and also risked offending -- someone? Jews? Arabs? -- someone. 

Of course, we totally complied with these orders by wearing them every time we were out in the field away from the command staff. It was just far and away too useful to not.  I mean, at the end of the day, it's just a square of woven cotton, right?  

U.S. Special Forces Operator with Shemagh

U.S. Convoy and Combat Operations with Shemagh

The Brits have always issued them to their military, and the US military has been issuing them to special forces operators lately, and, knowing a losing battle when they see one, command has quietly stopped bitching about field troops wearing them. 

In the (many) years since then, I'd completely forgotten about them other than to roll my eyes at them when I'd see some East-coast/New England hipster-doofus wearing the fugly things (they really are, especially when combined with skinny-jeans western fashion) as an oh-so-chic accessory and/or a half-assed "Pro-Palestine Anti-Israel" political statement. (Like, you know, total solidarity, bro.) 

Millenial/Hipster Doofus Buttplugs with Shemaghs

I've also run across a lot of pictures of them at Burning Man, and was initially tempted to classify them with the above buttplugs, but in fact I'm hard pressed to think of a more perfect environment in which they would be needed. For any BM people reading this, I strongly recommend taking one or two with you, but when you come back in off the desert, pack it away.

Burning Man with Shemaghs -- Thumbs Up!

 Anyhow, what brought all this on is that a couple of months ago, I saw them for sale in a tactical-equipment shop and, suddenly remembering their utility, I bought a couple.  No Palestinian (black and white) or Arab (red and white) or Hamas (green and white) or Whatever colors -- just black on olive green and a muted blue on grey. After a couple of cold washes/air dryings to knock the unfixed dye and sizing off of them (Pakistani cotton dying is notoriously unstable, which problem loose-weaving the dyed cotton doesn't exactly improve) threw them into my motorcycle- and personal back-pack, and again promptly forgot about them. 

Then, a couple of weeks ago, I was out riding and the weather went to shit. My own fault for not checking, but there you are. I was 100 miles from home, spitting rain coming and going, and a howling north wind carrying dust and crap up to about gravel size (it seemed).  Felt like I was being peppered with sandy buckshot. So I pulled out into a rest area, dug into my pack and pulled out my handy shemagh.  A quick double-wrap (how to tie it instantly came back to me) over my face and ears, and a pair of goggles, and I was golden.  Rock and roll, baby.  When I stopped for gas in some little town, the clerk was eying it.  Laughed nervously and said I looked like a terrorist.  His girlfriend (co-worker?) started nattering about "cultural appropriation" of Arab stuff. 

I told 'em if they didn't like it, they could feel free to come take it from me.  They both suddenly decided they were just trying to make conversation and didn't mean anything, and actually thought it was pretty cool.  

Shrug.  Don't care.  

I don't believe in "cultural appropriation" for one thing, and wouldn't care a lick if I did. I'm pretty tired of people being offended whiny little bitches over every damned thing, if you know what I mean, and just don't give a shit anymore (if I ever did.) 

Now, here's a thing -- since that day (haven't had occasion to wear one since) I've seen at least three hardcore bikers roaming around -- with shemaghs wrapped around their necks and stuffed down into the front of their leathers.  Wonder if I started a trend?  Hah! Me, on the leading edge... more likely some boys back from duty in The Sandbox who know the score.  Just an odd coincidence, but struck me as funny.

Just This Guy, Y'know?

In Our Next Episode: Our New Fall Line