Runaways, Hot Cops, Bike Status, Updated Blog Format

Runaway:
What could I possibly say here that hasn't been said? How on earth this goofy bint could have decided that this was the best way to get some time by herself in Vegas will undoubtedly be the subject of Feminist/Leftist psychobabble for weeks, not to mention Conservative/Rightwing expositions on how no one can take responsibility for their own decisions any more. My only two thoughts on the matter are:

(1) Why couldn't you just tell Bubba that you're having second thoughts, and are going to Vegas to watch strippers instead of marrying him right this exact second, and may or may not be back, and if he doesn't like it he can certainly feel free to piss off, and no you don't want to discuss it? Same practical result, without $1.72 Bazillion being spent looking for your dumb ass.

(2) The preacher being interviewed about all this says:

"Sure, we were all disappointed, maybe a little embarrassed, but you know what, if you remember all the interviews yesterday we were praying, 'At this point let her be a runaway bride,'" said the Rev. Alan Jones, who was to perform the wedding.

"So God was faithful."

And He apparently also has a sense of humor. Be careful what you pray for on National TV. You may get it.

Hot Cops:
Police Departments are finally figuring out that how they present themselves matters. Back in the bad ol' days, and still fairly common in non-metro areas, the guy who spoke to the press was a chunky good ol' boy who was spokesman for the Department by virtue of (a) being the Chief or (b) happening to be the one standing around scratching his ass when the cameras turned up. Probably damned fine cops, in either case, and always a PR disaster, in either case. They always came across like Buford T. Justice speaking stilted legalize and being chased down oratorical rabbit holes and blind alleys by aggressively assholish press wanks trying to make deadlines and get a quote worth reporting.

Nowadays, however, most of the big PDs have full-time press officers, who look good and who spend their careers answering press questions and getting training on HOW to answer press questions. As a result, you wind up with polished studmuffins who NEVER make a mistake or release any information that shouldn't have been released, or, alternately, hot police females, frequently brought up from the street so they've got that "don't screw with me" edge, combined with good looks and heavyweight PR training.

A fine example of the latter is Trish Ahrensfield, the PR Officer for Albuquerque PD, seen here getting the runaway airhead OUT of her jurisdiction so the fucking press will go away:

Officer Trish Ahrensfield Escorts
A Blanket Full of Georgia Fruitcake

She first got my attention turning up on TV in the middle of the night when the nutjob was captured in Albuquerque. Standing there in the dark in front of all those cameras and lights with that tousled, fresh-out-of-bed blonde ponytail-hairdo (which she was still displaying at the airport), answering questions as smooth as greased silk....mmmm, yummie. I thought she looked familiar -- finally figured it out. At certain angles, she's a dead-on ringer for Deputy Clementine Johnson, from TV's "Reno 911":

Trish 'n' Clementine
Separated At Birth?
She done good...

Bike Status:
Still broken, but set for final repair on Tuesday (my mech doesn't work Mondays). Turns out that instead of turning a bearing, I managed to damage the stator, naturally in a fashion which is theoretically impossible and which no one had ever seen before. Without getting into a bunch o'tech crap, the stator is sorta like the generator/alternator on a car. It's where the juice comes from. It also involves a few very high-speed, close-tolerance rotating parts and surging electronics, one of which did something bad resulting in an overheat and physical contact in places where that's not supposed to happen. Expensive, but not nearly as bad as a bearing.

Since we tore the entire thing down to the crankcase before we were able to track the bad stuff down, I'm for all practical purposes getting back a completely rebuilt engine. Now I gotta break the freakin' thing in again. 500 miles of reasonable driving before I can do stupid stuff. Sigh. As long as I get it done before next week -- got a major run I have to be ready for...


Blog Format:
You may not have noticed, but this blog loaded a lot faster than the last time you were here. That's because I've dumped a bunch of stuff to archives. That means your browser doesn't have to load graphics from a year ago every time you hit this page. If you want to see the stuff, it's still there -- just go to the "Archives" section over on the right side below "Links". Also, due to popular demand (both of you), a "Profile" update is now available, also in the right column at the top of the page.

In Our Next Episode: The meaning of life finally explained. It's not nearly as complicated as everyone thinks. Or, perhaps something else. We'll see.