OK, I Like Polished Quiff As Much As The Next Guy...

But if you're going this far, you're just fucking nuts. If you're subject to this sort of outcome, just stay fuzzy, 'K? I mean, I don't care WHAT you're trying to do, if the end result is "grotesquely swollen genitalia," you prolly oughta just give it a miss next time around.

I'm just sayin', if by some fluke you have something bad like this happen while smoothing the peach, and then you wind up in the hospital AGAIN for doing it AGAIN and for some reason top it off by explaining to the national press that you're still hunting a good way to defoliate, GET SOME HELP. I mean, how obsessed do you have to be?

It turns out the main problem in this case is the silly bint has very poorly controlled diabetes and (apparently) the "DEFCON 4 / Black Death" version of Herpes. The diabetes allows the Herpes to go nuts when basically injected directly into her bloodstream via wax ripping and/or razor intrusion.

Here's a hint for ya' babe: After being on the front page for having what is likely the most infected cooze in Australia, is there any question whether you're ever getting laid again anyhow? Unless you're a "no-touch" stripper, ya just as well go back to a "Summer Of Love Afro" at this point.

In Our Next Episode: Brazilians I Have Known, and (For Men Only) "Peaches to Nectarines," AKA "Ripping Your Junk: Fun With Hot Wax, A Tongue Depressor, And a Really Friendly Girl"