Critics...

I once had a woman (out on Usenet) who told me I'd single-handedly converted her to atheism, as it was not possible that any God running the universe would allow a vicious asshole such as myself to exist.

To be fair, she was a vastly stupid woman in the first place, and at the time we were engaging in a bit of a tet-a-tet concerning issues for which she was roughly as well prepared as yer basic eggplant. Combine this with her narcissistic, unfounded sense of entitlement mixed with a heavy dose of self-righteousness and you have a rube simply begging to be destroyed with much sturm and drung on Usenet.

For those of you who have never been to Usenet, our little chat would have been classified as a "flame war" except that the "war" basically consisted of me stuffing a flamethrower down her throat and periodically lighting her up while abusing her well-done, twitching corpse in less savory ways.

She was unhappy. Picky, picky, that was my vote. In that league, you either learned how to effectively fight for whatever you believed in, or you died. She's OUTTA there. Hadn't heard from her for months. Via con dios, sweety.

Now, I haven't been to Usenet in years, but apparently I have fans out here in the blogosphere, too. Got this in email:



Hahahahaha...oh, shit, that's funny. Wish I'd thought of it. And it effectively plays on my lesser-known "Aliens" fan status.

Yeah, I heard what you were saying. You want to bung a flash-shot of cleansing fire through my little cesspool here. But even so, it was still funnier than a writer-struck Cobert Report. Thanks, I needed that.

In Our Next Episode: I try to track down old Usenet ememies so I can take a quick dump on a couple of gravesites. Not that anyone ever took Usenet seriously.