Holy Crap, I've Been Memed...

1. Black and White or Color; how do you prefer your movies?

   Black and white with Jack Daniels. Color otherwise.

2. What is the one single subject that bores you to near-death?

   People who tell me how tough they've got it and/or why I should give a shit.

3. MP3s, CDs, Tapes or Records: what is your favorite medium for prerecorded music?

   CD.

4. You are handed one first class trip plane ticket to anywhere in the world and ten million dollars cash. All of this is yours provided that you leave and not tell anyone where you are going ... Ever. This includes family, friends, everyone. Would you take the money and ticket and run?
   

   No.

5. Seriously, what do you consider the world's most pressing issue now?

   People who base their survival on magical ideation, wishful reverie, happy thoughts, and the belief that everyone, in the end, is just like them.

6. How would you rectify the world's most pressing issue?

   It will resolve itself. And good riddance.

7. You are given the chance to go back and change one thing in your life; what would that be?
   

   More education, or at least more paperwork that says I've GOT education.

8. You are given the chance to go back and change one event in world history, what would that be?
   

   The Prophet Mohammad (May Allah Pass Him Like A Kidney Stone) would have been strangled at birth.

9. A night at the opera, or a night at the Grand Ole' Opry --Which do you choose?

   Opry.

10. What is the one great unsolved crime of all time you'd like to solve?

    Who was DB Cooper, what really happened to him, and more to the point, what are the GPS coordinates to the corpse and the cash?

11. One famous author can come to dinner with you. Who would that be, and what would you serve for the meal?
    

    Author: PJ O'Rourke
    Meal: Wayne's country-style pork parts served with blazing hot sauce and sides and a washtub full of ice and bottles of Corona, followed up by a genteel evening of smokin' cigars, watchin' the sunset, and working through a fifth of Jack Daniels. Woefully dumb but spectacularly friendly Hooters bimbos optional, but recommended.

12. You discover that John Lennon was right, that there is no hell below us, and above us there is only sky -- what's the first immoral thing you might do to celebrate this fact?
    

    Wayne's country-style pork parts served with blazing hot sauce and sides and a washtub full of ice and bottles of Corona, followed up by a genteel evening of smokin' cigars, watchin' the sunset, and working through a fifth of Jack Daniels. Woefuly dumb but spectacularly friendly Hooters bimbos mandatory.

In Our Next Episode: I expand on why I don't do these friggin' things.