Spankin' The Puppy

OK, I know you've read the story of the 14-year-old Utah boy who was charged with raping a dog.


Let's leave aside for the moment important public health questions concerning just exactly how weirdly lonely it apparently is for a horny teenager living in Davis County Utah, and get straight to the meat and 'taters of this story:

Cheryl Smith, executive director of the Utah Animal Adoption Center, said the dog had been molested in "unspeakable ways."

What? WTF did you just say? Is there some way to go about raping a dog which Ms. Smith (and, presumably, Utahns in general) would NOT consider "unspeakable"? Holy crap, no wonder Warren Jepps and his merry little band of polygamist child molesters are considered heros to a substantial chunk of the population out there.

In Our Next Episode: We discuss the difference between being killed in "tragic accident" as opposed to a "non-tragic accident," or a "violent homicide" vs. a "friendly, smiley-face homicide" as well as a discussion of the unlicensed use of descriptive phrases by dumbasses.

We shall also undertake the legally important task of getting the men in your organization to actually read the sexual harassment policy.