IPhone

Obama's explaining why it is that he was essentially raised by a scumbag race-baiting Black Liberation Theologist but is still a regular guy anyhow, Hillary's explaining how it is that Bill was getting away with banging Monica while Hillary was not only in the White House, but was actually doing First Lady Official Shit while Bill was getting his junk polished just down the hall and she didn't notice, and both of them are explaining how they are going to get a handle on the war and/or McCain, both of which subjects turned out to be slipperier than snot on a glass doorknob. An exciting week, and Hillary ain't even got around to explaining where she's going to keep Obama's balls after the convention. Conventional wisdom says they'll be in a glass jar front and center on the desk in the Oval Office where they will serve as object lessons to people coming to visit. A minority opinion, however, says she'll hide them away so as to not draw attention to her own equipment which, as she continue to claim to be a woman, could be at least embarrassing.

But none of this interests me at the moment. My boss just gave me a new IPhone which, as it turns out, is the coolest piece of technology in the known universe. I've been dicking around with it all afternoon, and am presently plugged into the IPod function blasting my brains out with a variety of "turn it up till you bleed from the nose" music and folk songs.

Which reminded me that it's been awhile since I asked; no, wait, I remember, I never asked; but anyhow, what's in your main playlist? I read over mine, and it strikes me as perhaps not as focused or theme-centered as many of yours might be:

Another Brick In The Wall (Pink Floyd)
Battle of Evermore (Led Zeppelin)
Comfortably Numb (Pink Floyd)
Black Dog (Zeppelin)
Cry Baby (Janis)
Dance Me To The End Of Love (Cohen)
Everybody Knows (Cohen)
Fifth Symphony, 1st Movement (Beethoven)
Fifth Symphony, Finale (Beethoven)
A Girl Like You (Smithereens)
Goodnight Moon (Shivaree)
Hallelujah (Cohen)
Heartbreaker (Zeppelin)
Living Loving Maid (Zeppelin)
Me and bobby McGee (Janis)
Ninth Symphony, 4th Movement (An die Freude) (Beethoven)
Piece of My Heart (Janis)
Sweet Dreams (Eurythmics)
When the Levee Breaks (Zeppelin)
Whole Lotta Love (Zeppelin)

I was gonna toss in a rousing street rendition of "Burn Whitey!" in honor of our token diversity representative who's presently giving Hillary such fits, but then he turned around and declined to be endorsed by the Black Panthers after all. Apparently a week or two of being bent over by Rush et seq has taught even this polished idiot to run for his life from regular Democratic politics. Damn. Maybe you CAN teach an old one new tricks.

In Our Next Episode: New adventures with my IPhone which, so far, will do everything but blow me. And I suspect THAT's a feature I'll find in the user manual (Chapter 32: How to void your warranty by abusing your equipment.)