Are you kidding? Is this sort of thing really popular, here or in Australia? I mean, I knew that it was done, but I always assumed it was just Hollywood bimbos like Heidi Montag (who's got so much botox, chemistry, and plastic on-board anyhow that she could take a punch in the tits from Cain Velasquez with neither pain nor damage) or her husband Spencer, who legitimately needs the surgery to at least reduce the appearance of being a cunt.
Why on earth would a regular female allow anyone with a scalpel anywhere around some of the most exquisitely sensitive happy/funtime/joyjoy nerve endings in the universe in order to trim some away, much less pay them $10K to do it? Are you people out of your fucking minds?
I am more convinced than ever that the old comedy standby about men liking their dicks a lot more than women like their lady-bits is as true as morning sunrise. Men see their junk every day, cuddle it, clothe it, talk to it, play with it, protect it, and try to find fun and interesting places to stick it.
I mean, it's RIGHT THERE. No wonder we name them - they've been our lifelong companions.
Women, on the other hand, can't even see their goods without some damned fancy gymnastics and/or a mirror and/or a camera, which makes them pretty dispassionate about it. Out of sight, out of mind, and all that. And more often than not, the response when they finally DO get a good look is on the order of "HOLY SHIT, WHAT THE HELL IS THAT?!?!?!"
It turns out that one of the things they never bothered to point out in health class is that they are ALL DIFFERENT. Boys know this - they've been comparing dicks since before they had language to discuss it, and they've ALWAYS known it. Girls, on the other hand, have limited exposure (usually) to large numbers of dicks to compare to each other and (usually) even less with female genitalia to compare.
Which means even your average female who's not pre-med or an OBGYN can draw or recite every internal female reproductive chunk in excruciating detail, 'cause that's what's in the books and health-class posters, but haven't got a CLUE what the external stuff is supposed to look like on real women.
Most, so far as I can tell, go through their entire lives without ever having studied the matter, and apparently think that everyone just looks like this: (!) from an external perspective, possibly because when they were 9, that's what they saw a 5th grade boy drawing and his friends snickering over before the teacher slapped the crap out of them and took it away.
Many will, as a result of their significant other turning up with the unforgiving eye of a camera or a mirror, suddenly discover that they don't look like that a single BIT, and what's more, that they don't look ANYTHING like all the trim on the internet. (Some may also discover that they unconsciously make happy little breathy chirping noises when they're on top and really getting into it, or that they are capable of making THAT face. The camera captures all...)
Now, note that the fact that no two internet coozes (coozi? coozum? what's the plural?) look like each other, either, doesn't register at all - all they see is that THEY are different somehow, and it's not all neat and packaged and cartoon-smooth, either. They're UGLY. That's what they think.
It's a life-shift moment and, I suspect, leads to stories like our li'l Aussie sisters getting trimmed up so that they DO look like this: (!).
Well, listen up, ladies. Virtually all of us (men) know that virtually all of you (women) have anywhere between slight and major differences between you, and virtually all of us (men) don't give a shit, and if you're anywhere around one who DOES give a shit dump him immediately, on this instant, right fucking now.
First, we pretty much quite like them HOWEVER they look, and, as I said above, we like "fun and interesting places to stick it," and I can absolutely assure you, sight unseen, that you're in that category. And the other thing we like are women who are HIGH response, feather-touch sensitive, and who LIKE us touching and exploring and rubbing and sticking and whatnot - which capability is likely to fall by the wayside in your quest to become Barbie.
SO CUT IT OUT.
No, wait...
In Our Next Episode: Fun with the goodies: Decorative tips, happy games, and hard-core uhmm....stuff, none of which involve surgery or nerve damage. Well, not permanent nerve damage anyway. (Send pix, I'll let you know if you're doing it right.)
Right on!!!
ReplyDeleteAnd guys: We gals don't care what it looks like, how long it is, how thick it is, or which way it curves or even if it does curve. We only care how you use it.
Y'know, us guys and gals are way more compatible than we think.