Almost 20 years. That's how long it's been, plus or minus a couple of years. I couldn't talk about it then or since. Still can't, and won't, so don't bother asking. All I can tell you is that it was...a difficult stretch, and results of its specifics ricocheted all over my life, and continued to do so, even up until the present day.
Today, it came around, as they say. I stand justified. Old enemies are crushed, discredited, and destroyed. And it was a stunning sweep, a 100% win, totally unexpected, breathtaking in its completeness, done in less than six hours from first indication that something was moving until I was standing on the other side of a largish desk while a Certain Person whom I hadn't spoken to for years explained new background to me, shook my hand, and apologized. As I said, I can't explain, but some people who matter are suddenly scrambling finding new ways to be nice to me. It won't last, but it will be good while it does. There will never be a public word. There can't be, and I know that and don't expect it. Never did. But my life is almost instantly measurably better.
For one thing, I've been grinning like a monkey all afternoon, and THAT'S been a long time. It's been a good day.
But that's not the important part. The important part is a life lesson I've learned, lo, even in my dotage. I've often heard that to forgive is divine, hate is corrosive, and anger is a waste of time and energy, and is never rewarded.
Without putting too fine a point on it: Bullshit.
As the French and the Klingons would say, "la vengeance se mange très-bien froide." Revenge is best served cold.
Watching old enemies twist slowly in the wind as I toast them with a smile and a shot of Jack and wish them a merry journey to hell is good stuff, and only those who've never been there would say otherwise for a moment.
In Our Next Episode: Shit. I'm grinning again.
It's too bad the wheels of justice grind so slowly. But when they do grind, they do so finely.
ReplyDeleteCongratulations, I guess?
ReplyDeleteI was just going to write that I don't understand finding pleasure in someone else's pain. But, I did have one time when I imagined someone else suffering and in pain and it felt okay to me. That was only one time, though. I don't understand what it's like to want someone else to hurt. That one imagined scenario wasn't enough for me to really get it.
For me, wanting revenge or wanting to get back at someone in some way only ends up eating away at me. In that way, the person I want revenge against really wins.
But, again, I think congratulations are in order?
Sweet. I get it.
ReplyDelete