Property Owner Wins Eminent Domain Battle, NASCAR, Channel 4 Bites

Errr...OK, you read it here...maybe not first, but I'll bet not at the same time...

Property Owner Wins Eminent Domain Battle
Sunday, July 03, 2005

ROMULUS, Mich. — The sign at the edge of Romulus, Mich. (search) proclaims: 'Industry and its citizens working together.' But try convincing cabinet shop owner Ed Hathcock.

Hathcock's property abuts Detroit's airport where the county had planned a 1,300-acre industrial park. But when Hathcock turned down the county's buyout offer, the local government made a play to take his land to use on the project.

The majority of landowners accepted Wayne County's buyout offer for the industrial park, but Hathcock claims he got a raw deal.

So the county took him to court to seize his land, wielding its power of eminent domain (search). Hathcock lost in two lower courts but won a ruling last year in Michigan's Supreme Court.

Hathcock's victory reversed two decades of legal precedent in Michigan and made the state's eminent domain laws among the strictest in the nation. For a government to take land from a private property owner, it has to be for public projects only, such as road construction or for parks.

But many in government here say that Hathcock's case undercuts Michigan's ability to lure business.

'The economy now is global. A company says, 'Do I locate in China or do I locate in the Midwest? What are the advantages that I have?' One of the biggest advantages is being able to assemble land,' [Wayne County Executive and Ex-Sheriff Bob] Fiacano said."

What? WHAT? WHAT?!?!?!?!?! Did a Wayne County Government Official (DETROIT FUCKING MICHIGAN) actually allow himself to be quoted saying that the Chinks' big business advantage is that mid-level wankers such as his own humble self working for their totalitarian government can reapportion property just 'cause they say so in the service of the State? Tell me there are not actually evil political scumbags this obtuse anywhere. Allowing a dirtbag with this kind of philosophy to hold office, never mind express a public opinion representing his government, is an offense against the people.

And, more importantly, HOW DO YOU SPELL IT? Imminent? Eminent? I've seen it spelled both ways in discussions, press reports, CNN pieces, NY Times bullshit, barely literate political rants...c'mon, someone settle in on it one way or the other than LET THE REST OF US KNOW. Thanks awfully.

And, finally, an issue of MUCH more import even than discovering that 5 of the 9 Supremes are in fact Soviet-era moles, is the scheduling fuckup of Channel 4 (FOX!)

Tonight, I was primed to watch Simpsons, Family Guy, and American Dad, all of which are hysterical. Instead, they've scheduled about 15 hours of "The Lost World: Jurassic Park."
Well, crap.

Turns out that practically everyone over at Channel 4 has taken the day off and left the operation in charge of the least senior floor-sweeper, whose primary function is making sure that he punches "Play" on the $19.95 DVD to get the movie going more-or-less on time. Y'see, with the exception of me, the Beneficiary, and our Granddaughter, their entire audience base is out shooting fireworks, getting drunk, and travelling to relatives' residences to renew old family animosities, not infrequently all at once, so they (Channel 4's poobahs) don't give a shit. "Fuck 'em," they said, "Let 'em watch some poorly acted, exciting as a potted-plant, half-assed movie instead of what they expected -- we're outta here."

At least it wasn't NASCAR this time. (Round, and round, and round, and round, and round -- isn't this fun? And only 15,368 laps and 172 hours to go 'till the exciting finish!)

[NASCAR Trivia: Most NASCAR fans have that big number decal in their rear window 'cause over half of them can cipher out "3" or "8" or "42" but very few can read at all, never mind spell "Earnhardt". In fact, we were down at the local Wal Mart today, which was an even bigger freak show than usual, when I noted the flip-flop wearing two-tonner with an 8-year-old drafting behind in the slipstream of her considerable wake. He was dressed completely in red, and had a giant number on his shirt.
"Look Dear," I said, "they named that poor li'l turd '3'."
"Don't be an idiot," she said, "it's a baseball uniform."
Yeah, likely story. They just needed a good dead-hero redneck name for the kid, and thought "Dale" was spelled "3". They ain't fooling me...anyhow, back to the Fox Channel.]

The reasons that Channel 4 stays on the air at all during these long holiday stretches are:

(a) it's too hard to warm up all the equipment after a three-day weekend break;

(b) it's tough to maintain a reputation as a serious big-city station if you're going to shut down every time me and my kids are the only people watching;

(c) if ALL the weatherpeople, tech dweebs, and talking-head newsdroids wandered off and left the place unguarded, it would probably be "imminently domained" by local negros looking to economically develop their neighborhood with an influx of "donated" fancy TV Station Gear which can be readily converted to cash, high-end narcotics, and small arms.

Well, ya' Channel 4 dickheads, since anyone who ever wanted to see Jurassic Park has already seen it on the big screen, and anyone who ever wanted to see it again has the DVD, you "modifying it for content and time" and putting it on the air, chopped into advertising segments, is rather a wasted exercise. In fact, me and mine are the ONLY people who would have theoretically been watching your little operation in the first place, but we decided we'd rather watch PRACTICALLY ANYTHING ELSE INSTEAD, therefore your audience share dropped to an estimated "ZERO". Try and sell ad time to that, ya lazy bastids.

In Our Next Episode: Probably something I forgot to put in this one...