Whiskey, Dennis Leary, and Pig Parts

OK, so on the last post, I was a bit pessimistic. But I'm much better now. Fuck ya' raghaids, your piss-ant religion won't let ya have any, much less the pig parts (mmmm, yummie) I been consuming while watching my Dennis Leary DVD. I'm just a regular joe With a regular job I'm your average white Suburbanite slob I like football, and porno, and books about war I've got an average house With a nice hardwood floor My wife, and my job My kids, and my car My feet on the table And a Cuban cigar But sometimes that just ain't enough To keep a man like me interested Oh no, no way, uh uhh No, I gotta go out and have fun At someone else's expense Oh yeah, yeah yeah, yeah yeah yeah .... I'm an asshole (he's an asshole, what an asshole) I'm an asshole (he's an asshole, such an asshole) .... You know what I'm gonna do? I'm gonna get myself a 1967 Cadilac El Dorado Convertable Hot pink! With whale skin hub caps An all leather cow interior And big brown baby seal eyes for headlights YEAH! And I'm gonna drive around in that baby At 115 miles per hour Getting one mile per gallon Sucking down Quarter Pounder cheeseburgers from McDonalds in the old-fashioned non-biodegradable Styrofoam containers And when I'm done sucking down those grease-ball burgers I'm gonna wipe my mouth with the American flag And then I'm gonna toss the Styrofoam containers right out the side And there ain't a Goddamn thing anybody can do about it You know why? 'Cause we got the bombs, that's why! Two words: Nuclear Fuckin' Weapons Okay!? Russia, Germany, Romania They can have all the Democracy they want They can have a big Democracy cake walk Right through the middle of Tienemen Square And it won't make a lick of difference Because we got the bombs Okay!? (Dennis Leary, "The Asshole") Fuck ya', world. In Our Next Episode: I soak a copy of the Koran in Jack Daniels, then bury it in a Jewish outhouse, wrapped in a pigskin stuffed with chitlins and a heaping shovelfull of pigsty slop. Also, I reach out to moderates.