Spam Connoisseur

Since I am in fact a lazy, lazy man, I will take advantage of anything that happens which is more-or-less going my direction, whether that's what it's meant to be doing or not.

For example, I often comment on the blogs of Friends, Acquaintances, Blood enemies, and the occasional complete Stranger (FABS) for a variety of reasons. Many of these nowadays require a login, often using WordPress, in order to work at all. So, I've set up WordPress account for that specific purpose.

No WordPress blog, mind you, as I find WordPress to be a gigantic, inflexible, unusable pain in the ass, designed by Satan for the sole purpose of making me to have evil thoughts about hunting down and strangling perfectly harmless WordPress programmers in their sleep. So, no blogs over there - but enough of an account so that I can comment on those blogs written by FABS for whom WordPress is a viable way to communicate with the world (as opposed to simpler techniques such as learning and using that aboriginal stone-age Kalahari Desert "clicking language" or the dowsing-rod-and-Ouija-board method.)

Where was I?

Right. WordPress and FABS. So, anyhow, I have this WordPress account in place now and I'm allowed to login to various comments and restricted blogs and whatnot. On almost all of them I click the little box that says "Send Me Crap When This Blog/Comment Is Updated." As a result, when the blog and/or comment is blogged to and/or commented on, I get an email notice.

My email program, which is smart enough to know bullshit when it sees it, sends everything that involves a WordPress account directly into my Spam folder. Now, initially, I thought "Golly gee, this isn't Spam. These are the thoughts, desires, and dreams of my FABS, and I should instruct my email program to treat them with a little more respect and put them in a 'Golden Drops Of Wisdom' folder." But I found that when I open the email program, the little counter which tells me how many "new" message are in each folder also works on the Spam folder. Which means, all I have to do is open the Spam folder, and there are all the Golden Drops in one place, and not a bit of email-rule-making needed to be done by me to make it happen, either.

Today, I ran my email, and the counter said there were four unread messages in the Spam folder. I smiled and got a cuppa coffee and kicked back, prepared to be entertained.

Two of the four want to send me pills and/or creams which will give me a hard-on like a steel rod, and one of the others was in Russian and, according to Google Translate, had something to do with titanium rods (титановых стержней). The final one was the only one of value, being a continuation of a conversation I've been having with a Nigerian prince's widow about the commission I'm going to earn when I rescue her dead hubby's $120,000,000(US) from the country's corrupt banking system.

(BTW, I don't remember whether I mentioned it, but I shall be retiring soon and flying us all to a bitchin' week-long, catered beach party in the Caribbean, including room, board, and daily coconut-oil massages from tanned 20-something cabana-persons -- so, y'know, heads up on that before you get your calendar too full.)

Nothing from the FABS at all.

Which I'd have known in advance of actually looking if I'd just done the work and written the rules for my mail in the first place. So, I'm now bitter and disappointed, sitting here with hot coffee and nothing non-erection-related to read, my day ruined.

(Hmmm...now that I actually say it out loud, I have pretty low standards for dropping into the Bitter/Disappointed/Ruined Day space. Perhaps I should work on that instead of dicking around with the email rules. 
.....Nah.)

But, now I've done bitched and my coffee cup is empty, so I can get on with my life. Back to NaNoWriMo. Which I shall also bitch about. But another day.