Pervert

That would be me...

First, there was this vampire from "Twilight" (which I have not seen,) and my first thought when I ran across a picture was "Yeah, she could bite any part of me (wink, wink) and I'm fine with it..."

Now, that's KINDA pervy, because she's supposed to be a bloodsucking killer, and what kind of idiot would want anyone with teeth like that anywhere around...well, any important bits?

But then it turns out she's not IN the latest movie. THIS one is:

OK, I'll admit I totally skipped the vampire fantasy on this one and went straight to something involving exotic oils.  I mean, at the end of the day, I don't really want to get bit. Well, not THAT hard, anyhow. But this is one smokin' hot redhead.  Terrible things rushed through my imagination which make a vampire bite actually look pretty tame, but would still make for a lovely afternoon. So, I had to do a bit of research - who is this heart-stopper? Well, I found out:

She's Ron Howard's daughter. You know. Mayberry. Sheriff Taylor and Barney Fife, and like that. Let's think about that for a moment...

Oh. My. God. 

I lust after OPIE'S kid. What kind of twisted f*** am I, anyhow?

This Is The Smokin' Redhead's Daddy

In case you haven't figured it out, lusting after the progeny of this kid, and continuing to do so even after I found out who she is, is just -- freakin' WEIRD, is what. It's WAY pervier than your pedestrian vampire sex. Yeah, yeah, they got that whole goth thing, they bite, they're dangerous, and they're "in".

Pikers.  

I LUST AFTER OPIE TAYLOR'S KID.  EWWWWWWW.

But apparently my journey of self discovery is not over. I had the grandkids down to the park on Sunday. I'm a suspicious old fart, so I stayed where I could see them every second, even though they were left with the illusion that they were totaly alone. It's a kid thing.

While they were playing, a van pulled up which contained a "young adult" class from a local no-bullshit, hardcore, fundamentalist church. The young adults (who appeared to be from 16 - 20 or so) burst out of the van and charged onto the playground.

Apparently as a lark, the group had decided to wrap up their Sunday-night meeting by running down to the local playground. Now, you gotta understand that in this part of the country, fundamentalists are the no-kidding sort, and these girls are the raised-in-the-church, mid-calf-length-skirt, home-schooled, church-three-times-a-week good girls, all pure as the driven snow, and I mean that in all seriousness.  They're out there, and there are more around here than you'd think.

And they started chasing around, goofing, swinging on the swings, doing the rope-bridge thing (in high heels), playing, laughing, guileless as puppies, and...

It was absolutely one of THE hottest freakin' things I've seen in a really long time...

I am such a twist.

In Our Next Episode: I found an entire post I wrote on Ambien and never got around to publishing! I'll put it up there. You guys like freakshow, sociopathic, word-association surrealism, right? I thought so.